sUCHA dull moment

Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby, and I'm the monster on the hill.

Yes, I sometimes do feel like that.

I got back from Bahrain, I got into Christ University, senior year result came out(yay me), lost some friends, made a few, cried a lot, almost killed myself, found out that I've to move out of town in three weeks, restarted listening to Taylor, got fat, started drinking a new kind of tea, got a new inspiration(Carla).

25.09.2023

Dear diary,

Paparrazzi by Lady Gaga is tearing me apart. I'll be visiting my home on 27th and my friend will be dropping me off at the bus stop(hopefully, he will).
I feel like I'm slowly killing myself. My health. my mind-everything is slowly shutting down. I have no idea why. I'm eating well, I have worked way more than this, the weather is okay(even though I hate it and sometimes I get really effing cold, but it's okay).

Also I have stopped listening to taylor swift. It was fun when it lasted. Back to my shitty music taste(jk, I adore myself).

The reason I came to Christ is really strange(I'll get to that later), But that particular reason(it/she/he/that/those...) will soon be the one shit that got away from me. Hopefully I will get hold of it soon.

One thing I hate about going back home is the fact that I will soon have to come back. I mean trust me, Banglore is a beautiful place. Probably one of the best. But when you have the confidence of a chicken and the energy of a cat, nothing is fun. Hopefully, I will soon start to open my fucking eyes and enjoy without thinking twice.

And hopefully, I will lose some fucking wait.

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Imagine not being with someone you want. I'm not doing anything about the confirmation of the 'L' word as I'm not even sure about it. I'll start with some ways to be pleased with yourself for not confessing. One, think about the cultural differences(as if). Second, think about the personality differences. I can assure the distance between them will be miles. The similarities are present but yet they contrast each other(rethink). What happened during the first few months(July-) seems like a lie as it seems like we don't even know each other now. Maybe we don't, atleast she could pretend. I don't want her to feel guilty about anything as she doesn't have anything to feel guilty about. Most of them, I did it to myself-not thinking about the consequences.I want to blame myself but my ego isn't allowing me to. I hope I have the guts to post this. I want to thank my friend who replied thinking that I was writing a suicide note, lol. Mee

WHERE DO BROKEN HEARTS GO?

I was so wrong. Yes, Bahrain is a cool place to visit. Yes my mum's brother and his wife and their daughter, all of them are literally chill. But I hate it. I hate it in here. It's not the food, not the weather(not a big fan but I'm versatile), it's not the beautiful place, and it's definitely not the people. I. Just. Hate. It. I feel so lonely. There's this small table aunty has on the balcony. At night(or day), when nobody's here, I would stand on the edge and wonder how it would be if I fell from the third floor. And he says that God is convinced that I'm gonna kill myself!(what a joke!) No, I don't plan on killing myself(anytime soon). No, I don't wanna ever come back here alone(unless I have the ability to change my personality or something). And no, I don't wanna suffer. Does anyone reading this shitty blog actually have any knowledge on me?(*wondering*) It's either the people from my Instagram story, or the people from my Wattp

Spotted- DISCOVERED

A brand new start? So hear me out. Today, on the seventh of October twenty-twenty-one, while I was attending my usual boring classes, I had a epiphany. Make a blog like you've always wanted. Begin from having a....I don't know.....brand new start? Not so much. You see, I'm being honest about the part where I said about 'like you've always wanted'. But FYI, this is not a brand new start. Maybe a brand new skirt I'm wearing. I'm in a middle of a huge crises. Every time I open it, my laptop is freezing itself and school reopens in less than a month. Not to mention, we'll have exams too. And I have a lot to learn about....every single subject. This is far not the worst month of the year, but still not the best one either. But we'll get to that later. I don't even know why I started writing this when I write poetries, stories on Wattpad etc. I don't even know if this will be updated regularly. Let's be honest, it will be NOT

Punk And Disoderly

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