Punk And Disoderly

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WHAT IN THE YEAR

My cousin just made a comment. Fuck you, so I have facial hair-up yours! So it's his wedding in what, 2 3 days I guess. I'm currently at my dad's place and this shit is boring af. I'll go back to my place only on 2nd and on 3rd I've to be back at the shitty college. AHHHHHHH I had so many plans for the holidays. Wanted to hang out with Meera, Poorni, Aysha etctec. But none of that crap happened cause of this shitty wedding(I'm not cursing them ok. God bless you guys) But something good did come out of it. I talked to someone after a particular period of time. I hope nobody I'm close with reads this cause this shit is embarrassing af. Also I'm missing new yrs guy. probably the first time after a long time. I feel like crying myself to sleep(honest guys, honest) I want to thank everyone who rooted for me this year+whoever wrote to me thinking that some pages were suicide notes left by me lol(ik it's not funny)(ps MEERAAAAAMWAHS) Also, this might be t

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Imagine not being with someone you want. I'm not doing anything about the confirmation of the 'L' word as I'm not even sure about it. I'll start with some ways to be pleased with yourself for not confessing. One, think about the cultural differences(as if). Second, think about the personality differences. I can assure the distance between them will be miles. The similarities are present but yet they contrast each other(rethink). What happened during the first few months(July-) seems like a lie as it seems like we don't even know each other now. Maybe we don't, atleast she could pretend. I don't want her to feel guilty about anything as she doesn't have anything to feel guilty about. Most of them, I did it to myself-not thinking about the consequences.I want to blame myself but my ego isn't allowing me to. I hope I have the guts to post this. I want to thank my friend who replied thinking that I was writing a suicide note, lol. Mee

sUCHA dull moment

Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby, and I'm the monster on the hill. Yes, I sometimes do feel like that. I got back from Bahrain, I got into Christ University, senior year result came out(yay me), lost some friends, made a few, cried a lot, almost killed myself, found out that I've to move out of town in three weeks, restarted listening to Taylor, got fat, started drinking a new kind of tea, got a new inspiration(Carla). 25.09.2023 Dear diary, Paparrazzi by Lady Gaga is tearing me apart. I'll be visiting my home on 27th and my friend will be dropping me off at the bus stop(hopefully, he will). I feel like I'm slowly killing myself. My health. my mind-everything is slowly shutting down. I have no idea why. I'm eating well, I have worked way more than this, the weather is okay(even though I hate it and sometimes I get really effing cold, but it's okay). Also I have stopped listening to taylor swift. It was fun when it lasted. Back to my shitty mu

Not 𝚖̷𝚎̷𝚖̷𝚘̷𝚛̷𝚊̷𝚋̷𝚕̷𝚎̷ enough.

I'm a terrible person. I'm a horrible, horrible person. Today, it's my second last day in Bahrain. If you ask me, I really don't know if/what I'm gonna miss about this place. There's this person, let's call him chicken(cause he/she just is one). I 'adore'(uhm) him/her. That person inspires me in many ways, so many ways one couldn't possibly think. I saw chicken around 7-8 times whilst I was here. I ditched birthday parties, holy communions, even shopping, just to get a glance of chicken. I'm really thankful for my cousin now(you've no idea baby) for this particular reason. Alright, now let's get to the point. Chicken is a late 30-year-old married father. Did I also mention the part where my cousin and I are friends with his kids? Haha, funny story. Yesterday would have been the last day I would ever see him again, and it is. I will never see chicken again. You know how depressing it sounds? I couldn't stop my tears yesterday ni

WANTED: A GATEWAY CAR

Currently in my Swiftie era(I don't plan to go back, ever). If you still don't get it, I'm out of content. That's why I'm writing(these). I have three college interviews tomorrow, oh and I got into Manipal university(totally different case). But as I have been mentioning in the past few blogs, I WANNA GO BACK!!! SOMEBODY TAKE ME BACK. We had visitors today, they reached at sometime during the day(utter crap). Hell it was so boring. I spoke no word to the kid, I feel awful(partially his fault). They went for a nice drive and to eat lunch and supper whilst I ate the leftovers(only because I told them I had to study-guess what, I didn't). This might be the first time I rejected a beach visit. Also thank you so much-you anonymous(uh-uh) swiftie! I'm not planning on killing myself or anything. Let's be honest, we both know that I don't have the guts to do that. Stay still, don't allow anyone to take your shits like they did mine. Ps, it's like d

WHERE DO BROKEN HEARTS GO?

I was so wrong. Yes, Bahrain is a cool place to visit. Yes my mum's brother and his wife and their daughter, all of them are literally chill. But I hate it. I hate it in here. It's not the food, not the weather(not a big fan but I'm versatile), it's not the beautiful place, and it's definitely not the people. I. Just. Hate. It. I feel so lonely. There's this small table aunty has on the balcony. At night(or day), when nobody's here, I would stand on the edge and wonder how it would be if I fell from the third floor. And he says that God is convinced that I'm gonna kill myself!(what a joke!) No, I don't plan on killing myself(anytime soon). No, I don't wanna ever come back here alone(unless I have the ability to change my personality or something). And no, I don't wanna suffer. Does anyone reading this shitty blog actually have any knowledge on me?(*wondering*) It's either the people from my Instagram story, or the people from my Wattp