This world is not enough

17 Feb 2024,

21 years ago, someone I know was born. Poof.

Today, it's me rethinking my thoughts just to make sure that what I feel is right. And do you want to know what I feel? I feel like if this someone is happy now, then I shouldn't ruin it with my presence. At the same time, I keep on running into this someone a lot. I try my best to avoid them most times. But, obviously, I will also want to see them, right?

Right.

Every day is a new day-me thinking that something will happen that will make me not want to sleep ever. Not because I want to kill myself, but because I could never sleep thinking about the instance as I'll always be smiling.

My chances are either getting reduced or is already nil. Not considering the latter, considering what kind of a person I am, I live everyday. Yes, maybe that's why I have low self-esteem.

I wish I could talk to someone. Well, not just someone but someone who might know someone. But I am too scared to do that as I am that girl who can't even read in front of ten kids without thinking about it ten times.

I hope this goes away. The feeling of knowing that something will end soon. The feeling of knowing that you'll always be regretting what you didn't say just because someone might have lied to you. The feeling of being a heart broken.

Love,

Comments

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