This world is not enough

17 Feb 2024,

21 years ago, someone I know was born. Poof.

Today, it's me rethinking my thoughts just to make sure that what I feel is right. And do you want to know what I feel? I feel like if this someone is happy now, then I shouldn't ruin it with my presence. At the same time, I keep on running into this someone a lot. I try my best to avoid them most times. But, obviously, I will also want to see them, right?

Right.

Every day is a new day-me thinking that something will happen that will make me not want to sleep ever. Not because I want to kill myself, but because I could never sleep thinking about the instance as I'll always be smiling.

My chances are either getting reduced or is already nil. Not considering the latter, considering what kind of a person I am, I live everyday. Yes, maybe that's why I have low self-esteem.

I wish I could talk to someone. Well, not just someone but someone who might know someone. But I am too scared to do that as I am that girl who can't even read in front of ten kids without thinking about it ten times.

I hope this goes away. The feeling of knowing that something will end soon. The feeling of knowing that you'll always be regretting what you didn't say just because someone might have lied to you. The feeling of being a heart broken.

Love,

Comments

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Imagine not being with someone you want. I'm not doing anything about the confirmation of the 'L' word as I'm not even sure about it. I'll start with some ways to be pleased with yourself for not confessing. One, think about the cultural differences(as if). Second, think about the personality differences. I can assure the distance between them will be miles. The similarities are present but yet they contrast each other(rethink). What happened during the first few months(July-) seems like a lie as it seems like we don't even know each other now. Maybe we don't, atleast she could pretend. I don't want her to feel guilty about anything as she doesn't have anything to feel guilty about. Most of them, I did it to myself-not thinking about the consequences.I want to blame myself but my ego isn't allowing me to. I hope I have the guts to post this. I want to thank my friend who replied thinking that I was writing a suicide note, lol. Mee

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