Not 𝚖̷𝚎̷𝚖̷𝚘̷𝚛̷𝚊̷𝚋̷𝚕̷𝚎̷ enough.

I'm a terrible person.

I'm a horrible, horrible person.

Today, it's my second last day in Bahrain. If you ask me, I really don't know if/what I'm gonna miss about this place.

There's this person, let's call him chicken(cause he/she just is one). I 'adore'(uhm) him/her. That person inspires me in many ways, so many ways one couldn't possibly think. I saw chicken around 7-8 times whilst I was here. I ditched birthday parties, holy communions, even shopping, just to get a glance of chicken. I'm really thankful for my cousin now(you've no idea baby) for this particular reason.

Alright, now let's get to the point. Chicken is a late 30-year-old married father. Did I also mention the part where my cousin and I are friends with his kids? Haha, funny story.

Yesterday would have been the last day I would ever see him again, and it is. I will never see chicken again. You know how depressing it sounds? I couldn't stop my tears yesterday night. I had a dream about him. And when I woke up, the first thing I ever saw was his face and the first thing I ever did was write about him(I listen to too many Taylor Swift songs).

And what was I thinking anyway? That I had a chance with him? That I had a chance with a married guy who loves his wife and kids? Get a grip hippie.

No I wasn't. I was aware(still am) of the fact that even if there was a shatterproof bond between us(which there is and we'll talk about it later kids), I knew that nothing would happen. It was just a physical attraction between a tired guy and a girl with father complex(uhm, daddy issues uhm uhm).

Chicken, I love that you didn't give us a try because of the amount of love and respect you have for your family. I think it even made me like you more(as if that's possible). You just have to know that whatever I'm feeling right now, is not forever. But it never meant that it wasn't real. I don't think I have done this much for a guy whom I had zero chance with. I have written a craploads about you in my diary(buckle up, kids), and will continue to write until I get over you(that would take some time, can't deny THAT fact).

I hope I grow up and see you again someday. I genuinely wanted to talk to you-in an appropriate way, I mean. You've no idea how close I got with your kids just to know a lot about you, and ended up loving them in a sister-way(sweet home Alabama). The next time I see you, I will open up and take the initiate of talking to the guy who made me want to stay in Bahrain for much much longer. And hopefully, before that, I will get over you.

Good day, everyone.

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