HOW TO KILL YOURSELF WITHOUT ACTUALLY KILLING YOURSELF

24th February
21:07

It's been four months since I've written. I feel like utter shit. Ps, boards started today. English got over. No more Gandhi crap.
Also I've applied to Christ Uni. For, well, several courses.

Ok so here me out. For the past year, I've had too many thoughts about killing myself. Too many. But I haven't. Why? It's just I haven't. When it's time I'll tell.

Do you ever feel like whatever you've done till now is worthless? For absolutely nothing? Cause I'm feeling that, crap. I'm a compulsive liar who gets out pretty well. Nobody actually gives a fuck for me, I mean blah blah my parents love me, blah blah my family loves me, but you know what? They don't care enough to ask, ok. They don't ask me how I am doing or why I'm feeling unwell. I love them, don't get me wrong. But, it's just...

Well you know how it is.

I just sick of everything, you know. I can't think properly. Mentally I've been dead for the past 3-4 months. I'm just waiting for this year to get over, so that I could finally do whatever the fuck I want to do. I don't plan to continue on any social media after this. I plan to cut all my contacts with maximum friends from my school, hoping not to see anyone anymore...I'm going to go all incognito.

Can't wait to get wrinkles.

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